Only a dream

So much time spent in the darkness.
My heart and soul stored in cold places.
Walls behind my eyes, letting nothing show.
If there is no hope, you can't be hurt, right?

Then you were there, are you a dream?
Sunburst smile and eyes that melt me.
Hope thawed my shattered heart.
Throwing caution aside to love again.

But you were a dream. Only a dream.
I fooled myself, thinking you were mine.
And some of you always will be mine.
Slowly, I woke from that beautiful dream.

The darkness is waiting for me, I know.
My sun is still out, but behind a cloud.
Standing in the doorway to my dark room,
I look back, tears unshed, wanting, yearning.

Stepping inside, I close the door.

Some day

Someday, we'll thread our way through time
Brave a thousand perils
Cry a thousand tears
Greet a thousand rising suns
Live a thousand lives
To find each other once again

Our hearts, always searching, always remembering,
Will finally, have salvation in each other's arms
Finally whole
Finally content
Tears of joy spilling down our faces

We'll be the people we were meant to be
our journey, on the whole, complete
All our trials, at last, finished
Nothing to hold us back
Ready to claim our moments of joy
Ready to hold each other tight

I will wait and watch for you
Hoping, against hope, that I'll find you
I'll face the perils, cry the tears
I'll live the lives
Just to hold you once again

Me

I'm strong, I'm smart.
I'm clever, I'm goofy.
I'm Achilles, I'm Obi Wan.
I'm Batman, I'm Indiana Jones.

I'm funny, I'm happy.
I smile, I laugh.
I'm passionate, I'm sappy.
I'm a puppy, I'm a lion.

I'm sure, I'm confident.
I'm spiritual, I'm punctual (almost).
I'm a lover, I'm a fighter.
I'm soft, I'm hard.

I'm at peace, I'm loved.
I'm open, I'm honest.
I'm home.
When I'm with you.

Have you?

Have you ever felt love?
I mean really feel it.
Washing over you like a wave,
Letting it overwhelm your heart.

It's like childhood's perfect summer day.
A beauty that cuts like a razor.
Music written just for you.
A warm light in the darkness.

Being content watching someone sleep.
The sun rising with opening eyes.
A slow, sleepy smile and warm hair.
Discovering the world again.

Have you ever felt love?
I mean really felt it.
Knowing you can die happy,
Because it finally found you.

Numb

I woke up numb today.
Too much to think about,
Too much to feel.
It's almost more than I can bear.

My soul vibrates like a harp string.
One more thing and it will snap,
And then where will I be?
I don't think even the Divine knows.

Too many responsibilities.
Too much baggage.
I stint on nothing.
The burden will destroy me.

I don't trust.
I don't accept.
I can't believe.
My faith is lost.

Where do I go from here?
The Path, once so clear,
Is now shrouded in mist.
I'm afraid I've lost me.

Still, I must carry on.
To stop, is to die.
Maybe I can rest a moment.
Can I die just a little?

Don't break my heart

I'm standing in front of you.
Battered, but not broken.
It isnt the way I'd have wanted to start,
But we don't always get to have that choice.

Yet here we stand. And my eyes are round with wonder.
Can it possibly be true? What makes me so special?
I want to ask, but you quiet me with a finger to my lips.
Your fingers brush my cheek. I know you are uncertain, too.

We touch, we talk.
We listen , we learn
We hope, we dream.
We share pasts, we share pains.

To believe is to take that leap of faith.
You said you were willing to, but don't make you wait.
See me now. I'm in front of you. No more waiting.
My hand is reaching for you. Please take it.

Yesterday is gone. It can't be changed.
Tomorrow is hidden, unknowable.
We have here and now.
I'm happy and content to spend it with you.

The sun is out, warm on our faces.
Take my hand, take my heart.
Let's find love, teach each other how to trust.
Let's make each other whole again.

As your fingers curl around my hand,
We have so much to give each other.
All I ask is the same that you ask of me,
Don't break my heart.

Cold WInd

Cold wind blowing, I stood on the rocks.
I watched the river with walled off eyes,
set in a face that was cold and hard.
Dark clouds reflecting in eyes that were darker.

The leaves have turned and are falling.
I'd wanted to show you this.
But instead of turning the river to molten gold,
The leaves were just dead things, swept away.

I don't blame you. You were being true to yourself.
I blame me for wanting so badly to find something not there.
I hurt you with my silence. You hurt me with your words.
We talked ourselves into a corner and hurt each other.

Time will heal the wounds, but the changes will remain.
We'll be both better and worse as people.
But you need to be true to yourself,
As I need to be true to me.

I'm sorry.